5.11.2007

ARTWORDS---EYES


A collage using a transparency and pieces of paper on my art table.
5 x 5 inches.
My goal was to only use papers already out from another project. My table is a disaster area these days so there wasn't a lack of things to chose from.

As I got into playing with papers I started to think of myself at the age of the girl in the photo. I was into escape then, escape into books, into walking in the woods with my dog. Anything to avoid being in the house where there were tempers which meant lots of tiptoeing and nail biting. I avoided the tempers, mainly my dad's, by being a good girl that made straight A's and was quiet. Very quiet. I wish I had some photos of myself at this age. My dad has them hidden in a basement. He does this so my mom can't have them. If I did have a photo and I put it next to this one I bet the eyes would be very similar.

I know this is all personal, probably too much so but the reason I write this and the reason I won't delete it after is that I know we all have "things" to work through in our past. While I was working on this piece I started to feel angry and broken and sad. I just let myself feel it and kept working. It was when I moved over to the sewing machine that I realized tears were streaming...and I mean streaming down my face. I finished the piece and just cried and cried. Then I wiped my eyes and sat in disbelief. What had just happened? The wonderful thing is that I feel happy now, lighter and I'm not hurting anymore. I feel at peace.

Making art, the act of putting ourselves into the world, is an amazing healing thing, isn't it?

Now I must go and clean my eye glasses and make a cup of tea.

A day of blessings to you,


p.s. I went back and added some black netting...



22 comments:

Jamie said...

Oh Tricia! What a fabulous, affirming post. Our art is almost like being able to see our dreams, see into our past and look towards our future all at the same time. I'd say you did good work today both creatively and emotionally. Thank you for sharing such a tender, open moment. Love, Jamie

A bird in the hand said...

"I was into escape then, escape into books, into walking in the woods with my dog. Anything to avoid being in the house where there were tempers which meant lots of tiptoeing and nail biting. I avoided the tempers, mainly my dad's, by being a good girl that made straight A's and was quiet."

Dear Tricia: This could be me. Exactly. However, they divorced when I was 10. It was a good thing, but it brought up another set of problems to heal. But heal we do, however long it takes. Bravo for this post!

Southern Heart said...

Tricia, I'm glad that your art is a gift to you in so many ways. I wish you healing, and peace.

Love, Andrea

Jeanne said...

Tricia, I think a lot of us use our art as a means to look within. I know I do. Some artists concentrate on "happy" themes and there is nothing wrong with that. But when we put our internal thoughts and feelings on paper or canvas it can be freeing and hopefully we can grow and learn from it. Thanks so much for being so open and sharing with us. Love, Jeanne

Elaine Kerr said...

Just had to slip away for Kleenex. Wonderful, sad story. Sometimes our very best work comes from an unpleasant experience.

L.M.Noonan said...

Dear Tricia, your work is always fabulous, more so because it is made by hand as opposed to digital collage. I do both but raely post my 'glued' collages, I feel they do not translate well; whereas yours do. In fact at first I was sure they were digitally created. No implications here, Art is not the material or the means it's in the eye. BUT...I wanted to say before I started to ramble- that like the others who have commented here; I connected with your sadness and have lots of skeletons in my closet that only now I am starting to bury finally.

Jill said...

Beautiful post. Isn't amazing how our emotions can sneak up on us...something triggers it and then.....whoosh! It is such a freeing thing when we allow ourselves to "feel". Thank you so much for not deleting this post...for allowing all of us to go to a place that may or may not be comfortable...but makes us who we are.

R2artstudio said...

What a touching post and artwork. It's funny how our art will lead us to memories, good and sad. That little girl could have been me also. Thank you for your art and for being so open with your story.

Joan Ellis said...

It looks like many of us have a need to claim the child within and hopefully, let her know that we will take care of her...

Corey Moortgat said...

What a beautiful piece,even without knowing the story behind it, but even more beautiful knowing how "real" it is! I think you would really like some of the exercises in my upcoming book- they're all about looking at your art and seeing these sorts of things. And I'm not saying that just as a "plug" for my book, but just because this sort of artwork is exactly the sort of thing I am trying to get people to do in my book!

vicci said...

Tricia....What a lovely...and oh so true post..we all deal with our own demons...this post was "so real"...I love the art piece.....it's beautiful...like you! :-)

Brandie said...

How lucky we are to have our art. Just to be able to take something so heartbreaking and tragic and use it to make something so beautiful... This is so beautiful!

One day you will have your pictures my friend.

Brandie

audrey h. said...

Beautiful entry and i love the art. Happy Mother's Day :o)

Anonymous said...

So much truth in your words. Art is catharsis. I'm glad you feel better!

Bev C.

Mieke said...

It's so beautiful Tricia.

Deb said...

Such lovely, lovely art... and as you have seen, the emotions and experiences behind it are oh so familiar to so many of us - all trying to deal in our own ways. I know your pain and feel your sorrow of what we wish could have been. Sending lots of love to you ~ Deb

~Susie~ said...

aw sorry so for your hurt,I would say the saying what hurts you makes you stronger..but I don't believe that at all.
I too have been there growing up and it isn't always easy to forget things that happen to you and the littlest things could make you remember those memories all over again.
if ever you need a friend I am only a email away xoxo

oldflowers4me said...

mmm, you know, you got up and you did every thing that was right, you played out side to get away and you did, you are a very beautiful girl , inside and out, we can be the one's to make our worlds happy and to make our little worlds safe, to just love our own little familys- to try not to let our little one's ever be afraid.love jo.

Anonymous said...

That little girl could be me, too. I escaped into books and playing outside and sometimes just hiding in my room. To this day, the slightest hint of confrontation can send me into a panick attack. Your piece is beautiful!

Cerri said...

Tricia,
I completely understand. I too, tiptoed through my childhood, never really being a child. At 35, sometimes I think I am still healing.
Thank you for posting. For talking about the real things.
Hugs!
~Cerri xoxo

She'sSewPretty said...

This is my first visit here, but you brought tears to my eyes. I was also that little girl. sometimes when I think about "her" it is almost as if it were someone else. Hugs to you!

Anonymous said...

wonderful openness. this story is all there in the work you did. making art has healed you, but may heal also others who see the work and read your story. wish you all the happiness

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