There is much on my mind this morning, so many emotions.

Yesterday started off bad with the guy, Al, that is working on our kitchen-under-the-sink-leak-problem saying that things were worse, much worse than we thought. Do you remember me mentioning this problem last week? Well, he finally came back to finish the job yesterday...he is a super nice guy but I just like for things to get done quickly. I am just funny like that, I guess. Now, we may be losing our kitchen floor...the boards are wet, real wet, with some, well, a lot of rot. (oh why did I just have to have an old---ancient---home?) the walls on one side have to be replaced. oh my! gone are my cabinets, the counter, the sink....now if you look into the kitchen you can see the very bones of the house on one side, on the other are the stacks of things that were in the cabinets. We are still in a quandry about the floor. We have time to think. Before we can do anything else we have to wait for the boards to dry out. What a mess! And this was an unexpected redo. The kitchen is down on my list for year 10 or something. I have big plans for that room. This will be a temporary remodel in my mind and I know that countertop and sink I love are not in this year's budget.
Al is a sweet little man who talks to himself (bless his heart) and Olivia and I are still trying to do some school work. I keep hearing him loudly say things to whatever he's working on, like this to a stubborn board that he is prying loose---"come on now, why you want to be like that, huh?"

After a time I decide to take Olivia to stay for a bit at my mother-in-law's house. She was at work and she always has soda and I felt like I needed a stiff drink---a Coke. (we stock with water and herb teas-not what I needed)

So, I am throwing a real pity party in the car, which thankfully I did finally get to start...I drive a moody 1985 deisel mercedes. (also in need of restoration!--I like my cars older too!) I am in a fowl mood by the time I get to Mamaw's. We get there. No Coke! but there's other - Dr. Pepper, which works. I just needed something fizzy.

Then...My mood, all the stuff with the house that has gotten me down all fades to nothing,to absolute pure silliness, when I turn on Mamaw's TV and see the news coverage on this tragedy so close to home. Just 40 minutes away. All this sadness and pain. I sat on the couch and sobbed. Olivia and I talked a bit about it. She is seven so it is hard to explain something like this. What is the answer when she asks why? I just can't believe something like this can happen. While I have no loved ones there at the school, my heart, my soul goes out to the families of the victims. I cry for the family of the shooter. What must their life be like today? I look at Olivia and I can't imagine losing her. It is all too devastating for those families today. Too much for words. It all just breaks my heart. I can't think of it without starting the crying over again.

O.K......tissue break for me. regrouping. O.K. cup of tea...the stove is still in it's place. So what if I have to wash my cup in the bathroom, no big...at least we are all safe here and together, right?

BUT...There is something else to post about. something positive and kind. Artsymama (Kari) and Jeanne have been sweet enough to nominate me for the Thinking Blog Award. Thank you, ladies.
I would just like to say that I am grateful from the bottom of my heart to all who visit me here. I am thankful for the connections being made here in Blogland and for all the love and support.
Well, the way this goes is that it is now my turn to select 5 blogs to nominate. If you look over to my sidebar there you can see I like and glean inspiration from so many bloggers. Not all have I conversed with through email but some yes, and those I have are real friends to me. I appreciate everyone that logs on and shares their art and feelings with others. My life is more full and exciting because of my online art friends. So, there is no way that I can pick 5. I just can't. I think you should just go down my list and randomly visit 5 someones you may never have visited before, make a new blog friend. (If I don't have you on my list and you want to be let me know and I will add you!) I hope this isn't a cop out- I just am not good at this sort of thing.
May your hearts be filled with love today,


~Susie~ said...

oh I know what it's like to have problems with the kitchen,we are re-doing ours right now.Just think of how nice it'll look when it's all finished!
p.s I have tried emailing you with the recipe but your email never went thru :(

Marni said...

I have something for you at your local library--"Beyond Paper Dolls". You need to see something pretty right now...we all do...

Beth said...

What a great post....and we, too, are feeling so awful for the families of those children.

Thanks for talking about it !!

vicci said...

I am very sad today because of the tragedy in Virginia...I pray for peace......

Anonymous said...

Out of the 65 blogs I have in my favorite places, one mentioned the tragedies of yesterday, and yours was the only one where the 'owner' of the blog took the time to delve into her feelings and bother to share them. Thank you for that.

Hélène Deroubaix said...

I've heard about the tragedy it's so terrible...It's getting worse!
It's so very sad for all the people whose life has been stolen,it just makes me want to cry...I wonder why I turn my tv on...
lately there was a 23 years old girl lost in France and they found her body, and that kind of things just get the best of me and my hopes
I have tears in my eyes

that pain inspires me rage, a deep wrath because it's so unfair!
it inspires me so much empathy for the victims
The worste is that we can't do much,there will always be cruel people ,pervert,killers,psychopath...it's in this world...

This side of the world is deeply scary anytime I think of my children( when I'll have them)

we as artist can still take the best of the world, express our emotions through art,share hopes,aim at the remembering of it's left to love and feel grateful for, because of course in spite of the truism: the world is cruel, there are still way too much beauty to give up!

blessed be sweet soul!

Jamie said...

Crying along beside you Tricia. It is just so hard to even conceive of someone committing such a horrible and malevolent act. The pain that the families are feeling seems too hard to bear. Thank you for a lovely post and sharing your feelings. Gentle days, Jamie

Mrs. Staggs said...

I live in a very old house too and I wouldn't trade, but I do know what it's like to have to deal with such things and I feel for you.
I feel a certain sadness everyday because of violence in our world. I think it's imprortant to remember that the young man who did this tragic thing was obviously ill and then we have to continue to love one another through these bad times. My heart goes out to the families and friends of all of those beautiful young people and their teachers. Just thinking about the potential that was there to change our world will break your heart, but we've all got to keep trying and hoping.
Take care Tricia.
P.S. I drive a 1978 Volvo station wagon!

Jeanne said...

Good choice Tricia! I had a difficult time narrowing my list of Thinkng Bloggers to just 5 too. Wish I had thought of your idea!