5.13.2009


A few days ago daybreak found me sitting on the porch, watching the rain pour down. At the corners the rain gathered and gushed over portions of the porch floor, it pooled around the hydrangeas and washed down the driveway in muddy rivers. Next week the gutter guys will come and put gutters on. I watched the rain wash clean the wood of its buildup of yellow pollen, so thick, tracked with yesterday's footprints. I took in deep breaths and let the rain wash clean my soul. Calm. Peaceful. Unhurried. Safe. I loved how the rain was like a curtain, a veil, cocooning me from the world, from the neighbors, who if they looked out would see a woman in her pajamas, her hair unbrushed and wild.
I am forever saying how I wish I could uproot our house and place it onto a plot of land on a lonely country road. Land with big old trees to wander through and a creek for Olivia and her friends to explore. Land that holds secrets to unearth like arrowheads and chards and secrets not buried but that reveal themselves only as voices carried on the wind.
I started to make that particular wish on that morning but didn't. I realized I was happy just where I was. Hmmm. I was a bit surprised. But I sat and listened and just appreciated the time. It seemed such a priviledge simply to be there, observing the rain. What a gift! It was all that mattered in that moment. I told myself I was going to make a stronger effort not to take such simple acts for granted and to feel contentment with where I am in my life.

I was reminded of this quote: "Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at the azaleas making fuchsia star bursts in spring; look at the full moon hanging silver in a black sky on a cold night. And realize that life is glorious, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around."---Anna Quindlen

Isn't that wonderful?!
The last few days have been good ones for taking it slow and seeing the glorious. Olivia and I have embroidered and we written. Olivia is also working on a story, a novel, and we have propped up on pillows, each disappearing into the worlds on our pages and then back again to share favorite sentences and ask advice. Especially advice on naming characters. Olivia has quite a knack for that. This is my favorite thing that we do right now. Sigh. I love the way her eyes light up with the joy of creating. Ah, life is glorious.

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