Fear and Love

A big thank you hug for all of our get-well wishes!

This morning was spent in the kitchen making a yummy butternut squash soup (recipe here) to serve for dinner. Olivia did some of her school lessons at the table and is now off reading, cuddled with a kitty in her bed, in her newly painted (all except for trim around the door) purple room.

I feel for the first time in a while like sitting at the computer and blogging. I don't know really what is going on with me-I haven't been quite the same since the beach trip-it's just that there seems to be a feeling of fear associated with the simple act of sitting here in front of this screen. Fear in that each time I sit here I spend hours, somehow not having learned moderation in this department of my life. I get lost in other's lives and art and can stay there for much too long.

Fear in the knowledge that life is rushing by me at a fast clip and I simply must must must spend every second I can with my family, making wonderful memories, documenting the times.

Plus, this time of year is my favorite time with activities I LOVE like exploring a farm with friends and finding the perfect pumpkin, watching Olivia make sweet gourd people like this one, and standing barefoot in a patch of moss orlingering in the morning with a good book.
I have missed blogging however, the connections made here are precious also. I will work on this problem I have with moderation and try to be more consistent. I have a few new paintings to share but my husband ran off with my camera this morning. I will be sharing those soon.

I hope all is well with you and you are just happily creating!



red tin heart said...

I think you are right, it is hard to learn moderation in blog land because it is so much fun learning from others and making new friends. But, I need to do the same thing get away for awhile. xoxo nita

jeanetta said...

i love that book you have in your last picture. i bought it while i was an art major in college and did a paper about the neglected women in art history. its nice to see that someone else has read it too.

lindaharre said...

Thank you for the soup recipe! Soups are my favorite, especially this time of year:D I will headed to the grocery tomorrow for ginger:D Linda

Jo Wholohan said...

Glad to hear you are feeling better Tricia!! Its always a struggle to balance family and our own passions (art).... i think the guilt must come with motherhood :)) Chin up!!!

* mY fRiEnDs cALL mE Rella * said...

Big hug first....Go with the feeling sweet pea. My very thoughts some time that I can be sucked in and use time that could be more creative or useful....and I really only have to worry about me, really. I cannot even imagine how huge that feeling is when you have Olivia. Breaks are really good for the soul. Make art........cook.........have Olivia time.........have YOU time barefoot in the moss. AND WRITE YOUR STORIES!!!

xo Rella

Amy Wagner said...

I struggle with cutting myself off at reading just 2 or 3 of my favorite haunts on the blog world list at a sitting. I have a life to attend to that is not inside a computer screen. I joke about laundry...but I really do need to take care of things like laundry and dishes and other mundane needed things and be assured that the blog world will not disappear in a puff of smoke if I don't read it for hours each day. I also struggle with not having enough hours in the week to use spending time making memories with my family and preserving those memories in some way. I often think I need to live to age 102 just to record my family events. Maybe I just need to stop trying to own all the responsability of everyone's future memory bank and live more in the moment and move on to the next moment.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Take a breath and enjoy the Autumn treasures around you this very moment with no guilt or responsabilities.
Wow! I should listen to my own advice, huh?!

eb said...

yes - I am having this struggle as well - thank you for sharing yours...

xox - eb.